Roses. He had shown up in front of her door with a bouquet of roses.
"Will you go on a date with me?"
She remembered. The curvy, blonde girl. Ian smirking. They had been holding hands. Right in front of Amy.
"No."
And she shut the door in his face.
Finally. Finally.
Finally she had said 'no' to Ian Kabra.
…Oh, you silly girl, what have you done?
She opened the door to yell something stupid that would maybe make him forgive her, but he wasn't there anymore.
Rain had started pouring down, and a red petal made its' way down the ground.
Ian Kabra was feeling empty.
There were so many things wrong with that sentence.
He was a Kabra, for God's sake. Kabras' didn't feel. It wasn't what they were programmed to do. Plot? Of course. Kill? Without the slightest trace of conscience. But feel?
It
had been approximately five and a half days since he last saw Amy (132
hours since she had slammed her door and torn his pride to itty bitty
bites) and it was slowly tearing away at his sanity.
He'd had to cancel the reservation in the fancy restaurant he was planning to take her to, plus
he'd had to withdraw his order for the countless roses (156 bouquets,
for anyone who's interested) he was supposed to give Amy after their
date.
Which had not happened.
She had also hit his foot
pretty hard. Ian had to bunny-hop his way to the car. He had succeeded
fairly well, except for that one time he fell into a bush.
Such sad woe for my toe.
Every time he closed his eyes, he didn't see clues. He didn't see
ways that would help them win this crazy competition. Hell, no. All he
saw was her face.
Damn, her face.
Ian felt for Amy in ways
that he had never felt before…he hated how he felt so protective of her,
like he never wanted to let her out of his sight, which was crazy,
since he never even saw her that much.
So, as a consequence, he
had resolved to drinking generous amounts of heavy liquor (imported, of
course) every night so as to knock himself out and not have dreams about
a certain red-head. This was a bit drastic, seeing as he was only
fourteen, but what the world didn't know wouldn't kill it.
But he
was on the point of giving up. It had proved too hard for him to avoid
Amy like the plague, and he had finally begun to admit that he liked her.
A fact that scared him senseless (though he didn't show it) because liking implied loving.
And
then directly after he had made this world-changing discovery, she had
the nerve to go and slam the door in his face. Ian didn't know what
rejection was, having never felt it till now, but he was pretty sure
what Amy had done hit spot-on.
But right now, he didn't care, because Ian Kabra always got what he wanted in life.
And right now, what he wanted was Amy.
"Are you sure this will work?"
Ian looked irritably up from the crazy Mexican clothing he had been forced to wear, to his smirking sister.
He
felt small in his stupid, blue, V-necked, ruffled costume with the
sparkles and sequins. He hated that he had resorted to asking Natalie
for help. And the fact that she had actually agreed had bothered him
more than anything else.
At first, he had been kind of grateful.
But when Natalie had shown him his get-up, he got the idea that his
sister only wanted to make him look stupid in front of humanity so that
she could get his share of the Kabra estate when his parents disowned him.
Ian could practically hear his father. ("IAN! WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY? YOUR PRIDE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS THAT SUIT?")
"Of course, Ian," Natalie rolled her eyes. "Girls find it romantic when guys serenade them."
"I'll take your word for it." Ian said sarcastically.
"Why
can't I just hire a plane to spell out her name in the air or
something?" Ian muttered, picking at the V-neckline. It was ugly, ugly,
material.
"Way too typical." Natalie said simply. "Trust me, this is the best way for you to convince Amy to go on a date."
Ian
did not understand the convoluted workings of his sister's mind. How
was him wearing a blue chicken costume going to make Amy swoon for him?
Natalie proceeded to ruffle through a bunch of shopping bags she had brought with her.
"Here," Natalie announced, handing Ian a pair of navy blue boots she had dug out from a brown bag labeled 'Construction Wear'.
"What am I supposed to do with this—this…thing?" Ian said, aghast. The boots were a drab color, plus they were made of rubber. Rubber.
"Oh, you just clip them on your ears—what the hell do you think you're supposed to do with boots, brother?"
Ian almost laughed.
He had been to countless dates, had more than his fair share of girlfriends, and he had won those girlsover by simply looking at them. But Amy wasn't that kind of girl…and maybe Ian welcomed that challenge.
…He just didn't see why he had to look like a blue chicken.
"Fine."
Ian said quietly, bracing himself. He tugged the boots on, wrinkling
his nose in disgust. Natalie looked strangely bright.
"That's fantastic, Ian. Now, go out there in your…um, er, Halloween
costume, bring the guitar and the backup tambourine players, and..."
Natalie snorted, letting out a laugh. "Raise the roof, brother."
Ian gave Natalie a good, sharp glare as he walked forward to the demise of his Kabra dignity.
The things I do for Amy…
Oh, Amy…
"What?"
Amy asked absent-mindedly, looking up from her book. Dan was inspecting
his baseball cards like they were the world's greatest discovery.
"I didn't say anything."
Amy, oh, Amy…
"There you go again," Amy said, annoyed. "Stop it, dweeb."
To her surprise, Dan rushed to the window. "Aha. Hey, Amy, come look at this."
"What?" Amy pushed past her brother and…
…saw Ian in a costume kind of the like the one in Nacho Libre playing a guitar.
Here goes…Ian squinted at the paper Natalie had given him.
ENGLISH?
If the song he was supposed to be singing was in English, why'd he dress up Mexican?
Amy
I don't think I'll ever see
A girl with eyes greener than yours
They're like pickles
With them, my heart soars
His sister was on crack. His sister was on crack. His sister was on crack when she wrote this.
I like your hair
Red, thick
Sweet and long
Not like this incredibly retarded song
You're so smart
With clothes from Wal-Mart
Your brain is bigger
Than my Model 5600 Laser
I know you don't
Think I'm nice
That I have got
A heart of ice
I spend hours in front of the mirror
I check myself every hour on the hour
I get facials thrice a week
The perfect hair stylist I still seek
But I want to say
Give me a day
Or two or three
Just be with me
Just be with me…
Just be with me…
Ian
sung, uncertainly. Amy was gaping at him from the window—a fact he was
trying to ignore since it didn't help that he was SWEATING LIKE A PIG in
this RIDICULOUS costume with NATALIE laughing her guts off.
As
soon as Ian hit the last note of his demented ballad, he dropped the
guitar, marched up the front door, and, in a burst of temper, rang the
doorbell repeatedly for five times.
He had just been humiliated in front of his dear sister
and Dan, and probably the whole universe judging by Natalie's camera
crew hiding under hilariously inadequate bushes, and he wasn't going to
take no for an answer. In fact, he wasn't even going to ask for answer,
at all.
Amy was already at the front door when he rang the doorbell for the seventh time.
"YOU
ARE GOING ON A DATE WITH ME AND THAT IS FINAL. EXCUSE ME FOR TEN
MINUTES WHILE I GO GET READY." Ian said to Amy, spun on his heel and
walked away to the car.
A resounding thud was heard as he tackled Natalie to the ground.
"My dress!"
"Boo-hoo."
Amy closed the door, trying hard not to laugh. The smile she had been squishing down erupted.
Ian liked her. Ian liked her. Ian liked her.
Amy had never felt so giddy in her entire life.
Sure,
Ian had kind of looked silly throughout the whole ordeal, what with his
getup and the background tambourine players and all that. Amy was also
quite sure that Ian had been unaware that while he had been singing his
heart out, there had been a powerpoint presentation behind him, playing
slides of pictures of farm animals. Amy didn't really get that.
But
what Amy liked about it was that Ian didn't look dangerous, deceiving
or psychotically evil at all. He didn't look like their enemy. He just
looked like an earnest, sincere, fashionably challenged person who was
telling a girl just how much he liked her. He had looked so normal.
Her
whole heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest, and all
Amy could do was grin crazily at the carpet for a few seconds.
Then she did the most logical thing that she could possibly think of at the moment.
She began dancing. In the middle of the hallway. Beside the coat-rack.
Not a very logical thing to do, but hey, there was that at the moment thing there.
Amy was just in the middle of busting an Egyptian move when a voice spoke up from the top of the stairs.
"Aw, c'mon Amy. The happy Egyptian dance? For that guy?"
Amy stopped mid dorky-dance move. Dan was staring at her accusingly from the top of the stairs.
"You're
seriously not going to fall for this again, are you?" Dan asked,
descending a few steps. "He's already fooled you once, and that's one
time too many. Amy!"
"Dan, every one deserves a second chance," Amy said gently. She knew how mad Dan was at Ian.
"Did you get brainwashed, or something? Was that an after-effect of that song? Who wrote those lyrics, anyway? Ian left us in a cave to die, Amy." Dan rolled his eyes in typical Dan-fashion.
Amy
felt as if her brother had stabbed her. Not so much because Dan looked
disappointed (but that was a large part of it), but because of the truth
in his words.
"You're right." Amy said loudly, startling both Dan
and herself. Feeling her confidence build up, Amy continued. "Ian
already fooled me once, he might just do it again. Who knows? He
might-he might just lead me on, make me think that he l-likes me. This
might all just be a scheme, the whole serenading thing might be fake."
Amy
felt like someone was punching her in the gut with each possibility she
enlisted, because each one seemed more likely than the last, each one
seemed more probable than just supposing that Ian liked her. Simple as that. It was so easy to believe that Ian was just fooling with her.
But
there was something about the way that Ian had looked at her when he
was singing, something about the way that he stared at her that made her
think that maybe...
Maybe as crazy as it sounded, as mad as it
would make Dan, and as vulnerable as Amy was making herself, it would
all be worth it in the end.
Amy would put herself out there again.
The things I do for Ian...
Said
Kabra returned, ten minutes later, wearing a pair of designer jeans and
an expensive grey shirt, visibly trying to regain some portion of
aforementioned Kabra dignity.
The two shared an awkward moment on the porch when they both tried not to look at each other, failed, and met each other's eyes.
Ian started walking north, and Amy, after a beat, followed.
To Amy, it felt like an eternity. They were walking so close, his hand would brush hers and electricity would snap.
They stopped outside what looked like a thrift shop. Ian looked slightly revolted.
"I'm sorry, Amy, but we'll have to make do. Would you like anything?" The wind chime made a sound as he pushed open the door.
Amy nodded. Her throat was parched. With what? Nervousness? Anticipation?
...Or maybe dehydration, moron.
"Water, please."
Ian nodded. He picked his way gracefully towards the cashier, who trailed her eyes up and down his body and let out a wink.
Ian smiled a tolerant smile. "One bottle of water and one...er…what in heaven is that…coke?"
Amy couldn't stop herself. "You've never heard of coke?"
Ian blinked. "I have, actually, but I've never tasted one. I prefer champagne or imported rootbeer." Or, uh, alcohol in large amounts. He nodded his thanks to the woman, expertly brought out a folded bill, and they walked away.
They were silent for a while. Ian led Amy into what looked like a deserted playground.
Amy took a sip of her water. She licked her lips nervously. She didn't know how to begin.
"Um—Ian, what you said in that song…"
Ian let out a small groan. "I don't want to talk about it."
There was a small silence.
"Okay,
I do. I'm sorry about the song, Amy. Natalie wrote it. If I had known
she had about as much song-writing prowess as a cabbage, I would never
have asked for her help. They're like pickles, indeed. I would have compared your eyes to emeralds." Ian rolled his eyes. If that video ever reach Youtube...
Amy
blushed. She forced herself not to stutter. "It was brave. I liked it.
Well, not the song because the song was just...well, I liked y..I liked
how you performed."
Ian's head shot up. "Well, that changes things."
Amy felt herself heat up yet again.
"Amy, I—"
"I saw you."
Ian frowned. "Saw me what?"
Amy hesitated. "I saw you—with that girl. The one with blonde hair."
Ian paused. "Oh." Was what he had to say.
"Do you really like me?" Amy asked, in what she hoped was a hard voice. Ian's boyish smell was distracting her.
"Y-Yes." Ian said, stuttering for the first time at her abruptness. He recovered himself. "Really and truly."
"Then who was that girl?"
Ian looked slightly sheepish. "If you must know. I was trying to get you jealous."
It was Amy's turn to say 'oh'.
Ian had prepared a whole speech of proof of l'amour, but it seemed to disappear like mothballs. He simply stared at Amy. That was all he could do, right now.
They were quiet once again.
"Your brother says you like the color green," Ian muttered, bringing out a box from his pocket. The conversation had to go somewhere. "I had to wait five hours for the shop to open, but I hope you like it."
He brought out a beautiful bracelet, silver interlocked chains with green emerald pendants.
He held out the bracelet. Amy was too shocked to offer her hand.
"I-It's okay, if you don't like it. I understand." Ian stuttered over his words, mentally hitting himself.
"Are you crazy?" Amy said softly. She held out her hand and Ian clasped it on. "This is beautiful."
A little hesitantly, Amy leaned against Ian and kissed him on the cheek.
"Now I have a question. Do you like me?" Ian asked, curiously, fearing the worst, but still expecting the best. Yes, he was bigheaded. Get over it.
Amy bit her lip slightly. She took a very long time to answer.
"More than I should."
Ian
had never been happier in his entire life, not even the time back when
he was five and he had expertly put traps around their garden so that
Natalie would fall in a muddy hole after stealing his stick of imported
pocky.
His hands wrapped around her waist, expertly holding her in exactly the right position. He leaned in and—
Croak.
Ian swore.
Croak.
Amy laughed. The frog jumped from place to place, peering at Ian and Amy.
"Just like in the fairytales. You're my frog," She said cheerfully to Ian, who looked sort of offended.
"I do hope I'm better looking than a mere frog." Ian muttered.
"Yes, you are." Amy looked down, flushing. Ian pushed her chin up with his finger. He was smirking.
"…But if being a frog means that I get to have you kiss me…well, let's just say I'm not exactly against it."
Amy
was about to say something, but Ian pushed himself forward and pressed
his lips against hers. Amy let out a little gasp and she felt Ian's
tongue tasting the inside of her mouth.
Ian broke apart for
half-a-second, and Amy stared at him with wide eyes. He smirked down at
her, and a single thought was running in Amy's mind.
No one can say no to Ian Kabra.
Croak. Haha.
Barely two hours after Ian and Amy's date, on live National television:
IAN KABRA: YOUTUBE SENSATION—3 MILLION HITS IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES. THE ATTACK OF THE DEMENTED RICH GUY IN CHICKEN COSTUME
"Oh, this is rich." Natalie laughed. "Mother! Father! You have to see this."
As
an after-thought, she added. "And once you do, Ian's share of the
estate will be mine. Mine, I tell you! MINE! Oh, the things I do for
money. Mwahaha—"
A shadow fell over Natalie and she slowly looked
up to see Ian standing above her, holding a frying pan and looking very
murderous.
"Hello, sister."